It's been far too long since I came here to gather my thoughts. But then again, it's been far too long since I've had thoughts I wanted to share. But tonight. I feel I need to. It's no longer about being comfortable in my skin(like I was before?). It has to be about healing. Healing that sucks. It'll hurt worse before it gets better is a huge understatement.
PTSD does not have a cure. Just as I will always have the countless scars on my body, and the uncertainty of new Drs, I will always have PTSD. Though, that doesn't mean PTSD will always have me. At some point it will become a part of me and no longer be me. Though at this time that point seems afar off. There is still hope. I can't see it right now. But I know it has to be there. Because, I believe in the God that can do anything. He holds me close, even in times like now when I can't feel him.
I'm (surprise) not very good at talking. I would much rather keep all my oh-so-often morbid thoughts to myself. I'm, by nature, a very pessimistic person. You see the glass as half full, I see the stain it's going to leave when you spill it. Okay, maybe a change in my point of view might help. I try I really do.
Okay, so if you are lost I understand. This is an out-of-the-blue post. Seems to be the trend with me of late. I apologize for that. I'm trying I really am. I'm taking a Holocaust History class. To get my mind in a happier place. Morbid. Yeah very. I suppose This is the new me. Can we all please just accept it and move along? No, I didn't think so.
