Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
I hate drama.
I hate lies
I hate deceitful people
All people lie. It's a sin, it's wrong. But it happens every day. Some people are just plain deceitful though. That drives me bananas. Some of you may know where this is coming from. As some big things have happened to this nature in the past. I'm not talking about that. That has been reconciled with me. I'm talking about the new stuff someone different is pulling that is just wrong. A scam. A deceitful ploy to become known.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Things are rough. I ran from the blog. While yes, writing here helps. Quite a lot. I just couldn't find the words to say. Especially at Christmas time. I want to do happy post about the meaning of the season. Posts about the mounds of goodies we'll have here soon. But I can't. I don't have it in me right now.
My PTSD has been awful lately. The PET is hard. It brings up a lot of memories and emotions from the trauma that I just don't want to deal with right now. I don't have much Christmas spirit. I actually don't have any. I've felt very guilty about this. I should be able to just get through this right? I hate that I can't just get past it. And feel extremely weak because of it.
There is so much more.
Just not tonight.
Monday, December 6, 2010
I've been in a funk since Jonas passed. Didn't help that my Bils close friend passed the day after Thanksgiving due to a accident at work. None of it helps.
I really miss Wookie. Can't stand not having him here. But it seems I'm going to have to stay on campus next semester. Things just aren't working out to move off. But I really, really want to. I feel like a part of me is missing with out him. I went shopping last night, for Wooks Christmas presents. Probably would have cried the entire time had Ryan not come along with me. Humph. I just want my puppy. I don't sleep well without him on my bed. Even worse without him in my room/house/town. This is just a suck situation. I was okay with it earlier today. But now I'm not. So up and down lately. But really. I just want my dog. He turned a year on November 27. I didn't have money to do anything. But he got extra lovins. Gosh I miss his sweet face. Resuming apartment hunt tomorrow. Humph.