Tuesday, March 29, 2011


I would really like a moment of peace. Maybe use the toilet by myself. Take a shower in the room alone. Sleep more than an hour at a time. I would really like to say I'm overly exaggerating right now. But I'm not. I love my sisters kids to death, but come on people there is only so much one Auntie can handle. I don't have children. I have a dog. My dog does not get up in the middle of the night and cry for hours. Nor does he claim to be hungry at bedtime to get out of sleep and make me sit in the kitchen for an extra hour before going to bed. He is very well trained that way. He loves on me when I want and leaves me alone when I tell him to. That is the joy of a dog.

I do want children, in due time. But today, I want to have my clothes spit up free, and a good night's sleep. Is that too much to ask?


I'm looking for a hobby. Being out of work and school is an odd thing for me since I'm not extremely ill. I'm really not sure what to do with my time. And WAY too much of it is being spent closed up in my sister's house. This is good for no one. I don't know how she lives like this. It makes me absolutely nuts. I need outside attention. At least every other day if not more.

Right now, the plan is to go down to Utah and stay with some close friends until I find a place down there. But, they are busy for the next 2 weeks so I have to wait awhile. I'm looking for jobs right now. Hoping to find something as a nanny. Because that is what I really love to do. I love kids. So we shall see I suppose. I've applied for a couple live-in positions which would be especially nice. That part of this falling apart does not sound so bad. I'm ready for a change of pace. A new town. New people to meet. Maybe date? I don't know. Let's have an adventure! Are you all in it with me?

I know most of you are probably confused at this change recently and maybe one day I will be ready to share. But not right now. If I go too deep on here I will fall apart and I can't do that right now. So let's just take in this change and roll with it for awhile. Because I'm feeling overall refreshed. A new person here. Ready to explore this great life and all it has to offer. Whose with me??

P.S. Caryl I will call you back soon. Was feeding the baby when you called and then my blood sugar dropped and I was sick the rest of the night. Lovely! Or call me, whenever!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Just Me Here.

I've been off for awhile. Blogging here and there, when I can get a few words out. I'm alright right now. Really I am. When everything is stripped away. It's just me and God. I'm learning to lean on him through all this. It's not easy. I fail at it, most of the time. But as I said. I'm still learning. I'm very thankful for all the people who are still supporting me through all this and showing their true colors. When hard times hit, you find out who your friends are. It's going to be a long while before I'm back on my feet. I have to find a job, house, life… It's not going to be easy. At all. But "Faith makes all things possible, not easy"

Caryl, thank you so much. You being there for me is more then I can say for most people.

Thursday, March 24, 2011


I don't really want to talk about it. 
But will...

I had to drop out of school because of the concussions. 
I had to give up my job. 
My mother hates me for my life choices. 
Those being, following God.
I'm currently homeless. 
Everything in life has fallen apart this last month.
My world is still spinning. 
If you know how to stop it, please do. 

There is so much more. 
But I'm a mess 
I'm stopping here. 
Caryl, I'm here. 
I "get" It, even If I don't remember what "it" is. 
Maybe I will use that number tomorrow. 
I think we both need it. 

Sunday, March 13, 2011


I'm in pieces right now.
Not even alright enough to write about it. 
Caryl, gotcha. I will. When I have more then a minute to talk.
Or can stay awake that long.
Good time?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

You Better Sit Down

I have ANOTHER concussion. Feel on the ice. This one is 10x worse.(Almost exactly 2 weeks apart. about 30 MINUTES off)  I also cracked a rib. But oh my. There is so much to tell. I hope you  guys are still out there. I know I've been very bad at blogging! I'm sorry.