Saturday, April 23, 2011

Dear Daddy.

Every little girl dreams of marrying daddy, right? Me. I dreamed of who I thought my daddy to be. Because you see, I didn't know him. He left when I was 4. I still don't know him. I've seen him twice in the last 15 years. Talked to him maybe 10 times, and none in the last 3 years. But, the streak was broken today. You see, last week while talking with my Grandpa he strongly encouraged me to give my father a call. I smiled and nodded brushing it off. I mean, he has never shown an interest in my life, why bother? But this conversation with my Grandpa stuck in my head. I thought about it, hardly sleeping for days. Then I did it. I asked my Auntie for his number. I called him, Tuesday. I received no answer. How did I feel about this? So I left a message, and waited. No return call came. I talked to Auntie again. She had talked to him. He was excited to hear from me. She thought I should call again. I did. Home. Cell. Still no answer. I didn't bother leaving messages this time. Why would I? Then, a few hours later. My phone rang, it was him! The sound of his voice, is it weird that I was comforted by it? We talked as if no time had passed. We exchanged day to day thoughts. Wow. I'm a bit like him. The conversation only went flat when he put my step-mom on. Uh, hi. Okay. Then he was back and on went the words. I was in heaven. He still calls me Sis. I still love it. It's sometimes odd the things we remember from childhood. I can't remember his face. Other than the few pictures I have of him. But his voice, and being called Sis, that I remember. I didn't want the conversation to end. Ever. But Alas, it was time. I needed to head to dinner with everyone. SO I had to get off. Can someone please explain the overwhelming feeling of joy inside me when he said "I love you Sis, let me know what the Dr says"?!?! Seriously. I suppose it's just the very infrequent mention of him. The close to never hearing of his voice. The missing of him telling me he loves me. It all goes together. And tonight my heart is full.

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