Still Waiting.

I hate waiting. The best things in life might be worth waiting for, but some of the worst take the longest. I get so frustrated with Doctors. Seriously. I know you probably had the results yesterday so why not calln and tell me what they said, even if you don't know what the plan of action is yet. I need to email my surgeon about what is going on. NOT the one who tried to kill me. The one who helped to save me. I very much don't want to. I very much don't want to say I'm having more problems. That I'm not doing as well as I and he would like. That, this could be life threatening. I don't want to say all that. I would much rather say life is great and I'm still in College, having a grand ole time living life. But I can't that isn't the truth. I hate it. I hate this not knowing stuff. I just want to know.

 

I know this is all in Gods timing. I know I can't rush things. But I'm feeling pretty miserable right now. I can hardly breathe and my chest is hurting horribly. I should have called the Dr today. I know this. But, I didn't have the number handy. Since I didn't want to call in the first place I didn't go looking for the number. You see, I avoid. I'm great at it…

On a different note. I have this friend, whom I'm not sure if I've mentioned on here. T and I are best of friends we have been for years. We are creepy sometimes. We just Know things. Like if I'm upset, she calls. She is absolutely amazing. We have grown really close these last couple months. She has always stuck by me. Through everything the last few years. But she has been especially close these last few months when a lot of the other people in my life have dropped out. I can't thank her enough. Last week, the man who has been a father figure in her life for the last 8 years died of a heart attack. Very unexpectedly. She is doing well considering. But, is still hurting. Missing him. She just needs prayer. Se is being so strong throughout this all and I am so very proud of her!

Yeah, random. I know. Lets just keep on this note though.

Another person who I know has been mentioned more than once is Debi. Oh, where would I be without Debi? Uh, well we just won't go there. She is always there for me. I can't express how grateful I am for her. She keeps me going.

I'm rather stressed. Not easily distracted. Know that either I will get a phone call tomorrow or they will… I'm ready to know. I'm ready to sleep. I'm just ready. Ready ready.