You've Yet To Convince Me

The new blogger annoys me.

It is a pain to get me signature at the bottom instead of the top.

What good would it do there? 

Well...

Big stuff is happening here. 

Really big.

I leave for camp Sunday.

Not for me.

I will actually be working at this camp.

It will be fun.

Saturday, before I leave, I have to go shopping with my Church to get the stuff for this camp.

Saturday night will be great fun.

I'm going to a Sara Evans concert!

With Danny somebody opening. 

I have like a bunch of laundry to do before then.

I have to work today.

And will be gone ALL day tomorrow.

Guess I didn't want sleep anyways. 

Well, I'll get back Friday, have a whole day of busies.

Saturday the 7th, well that's gonna be the best day.

I'm taking my mom Skydiving! 

I can't wait!

It's going to be SO fun.

So on top of all of that taking up the first part of my August. 

I have to pack.

Why?

Well, I'm off to College by the 25th of August.

Probably closer to the 20th. 

Mom is pretty much making me go.

"But you are 19."

Yeah, I know this.

But, it makes her happy.

It's not the going away to College that I don't want to do.

It's the going to that College.

Its the leaving Wookie behind.

It's going to just about KILL me....

I love him.

:-/

random tidbit

1. My favorite thing to eat is radishes. I think the are amazing.
2. I sleep with an electric blanket, even in the Summer.
3. I hate seeing snot on someones face, which normally occurs in kids. I will wipe it on my pants if I have to, just keep your face clean!
4. My favorite book is Gullivars Travels. Read it, it's wonderful.
5. I long to own a hardback of Gullivars Travels. My life will not be complete until I do.
6. I'm in love with my dog. He is my child and I don't know what I'd do without him.
7. My day starts around noon and ends around 2-3am
8. My College major changes between Psychology and R.N. daily. I think I'll just do both.
9. I LOVE sushi. I could eat it everyday. for the rest of my life!
10. I love to cook.
11. I am not obsessed with Twilight.
12. I love the rain.
13. I like to be the boss. Whether I know what I'm doing or not, listen to me.
14. I've had over 20 CT scans in the last 2 years.
15. I've had a blood transfusion before.
16. I can handle shots, IVs, PICC Lines. And G tubes. But the thought of getting another piercing makes me slightly nauseous.
17. I choose to be blonde. I don't care if other people like it, because I do.
18. I love my car. Bashed in door, broken reflector beam and all. Mostly because it's paid off. ANd I'm the one who paid for it. Makes it much more worth it.
19. I'm going sky diving August 7th, with my mom. It will be amazing and we can't wait.
20. I have 7 older siblings, 6 nieces, 9 nephews and one one the way.
21. My nephew Carter(3) has finally started calling me Auntie, most of the time, and it melts my heart. I will pretty much give him anything when he does it.
22. I love to blog!
23. Most of the people I'm close to don't live in town, I haven't even met 2 of them!
24. I will ride any rollercoaster, even the rocket. But the thought of going on the Farris Wheel causes me grief.
25. I sometimes forget the Wookie isn't human. And have thought things like, "if you want another one just ask." Or "where are your glasses?" I think I might be crazy!

Ketchep

It's been awhile.

I couldn't even tell you what I said in my last post.

Without looking.

The absence of blogging,

Well I wish I could say I've been too busy.

With fun summer things.

But truth is.

My health has gone down hill.

Fast.

I am nauseous all the time.

I am in pain all the time.

I have a sinus infection. 

A bladder infection.

Bursting cysts. 

All the super fun stuff. 

I've had an x-ray 

I've had an ultrasound.

Oh, the stupid ultrasound.

The couldn't see anything.

They had to do it internally. 

The stupid probe was the size of a vacuum hose. 

OUCH! 

I have hardly eaten anything since Sunday. 

Maybe 5oz since Wednesday.

Let me tell you:

For someone who struggles with gaining and maintaining weight.

Going even a day with out eating causes havoc.

I called in to work on Thursday.

I couldn't even sit up.

But felt slightly better yesterday. 

So off to work I went. 

I lasted an hours and a half. 

Then got sent home I felt so awful.

I will try again today.

I still feel awful. 

But hate calling in.

We'll see I guess.

Well, me?

Well, as my trusty followers know.

I'm not big on these blog carnivals. 

Every once in awhile maybe.

But I decided to participate this week

It's "Show Us Your Single Boys"

Obviously I'm not a boy.

Well obvious to me anyway. 

Girls are welcome too. :)

 

Well. 

I could say that I love deep talks and longs walks.

Which I do.

But I also love talks about nothing.

I love food.

Not so much to eat it.

To be around it.

Maybe have a bite.

I love to cook it!

I like to actively be doing stuff.

Sitting is not good for me.

I often fall asleep. :P 

I like video games.

Gears of War.

Fairytale Fights.

Anything that involves violence me actively playing.

I hate clinginess.

If I need a minute.

Give it to me.

I have health issues. 

If that won't work for you.

Fine.

Don't be like some and ask me to change what I can't.

I'm not looking for a fling.

I won't put out.

I will however.

Take the time to get to know you.

I will if it's Gods will,

learn to love you.

I will make you my everything. 

Body and mind.

I won't be your mother.

Or that crazy girl that won't leave you alone.

I won't, in the first month, drop my whole life for you and follow your lead.

You can wear the pants. 

But I won't be in the back watching. 

Wow. 

I sound.

Snobby?

Really. 

Snobby?

That's not my personality.

Really.

I  am learning what I do/don't want and am tired of settling for less. 

I know. 

I'm young.

Give it time? 

Right.

Well. 

Leave me a comment if you are interested. 

Guys only please. ;) 

*****My won'ts WILL change. On what God has me to do.*****

 

 

I
am
tired.

Tomorrow is my day off.
I am thrilled.
I plan to sleep  get this house clean.
Put my application for housing in.
Go get my financial aid in order at the college.
Find a new ob/gyn
Find my rheumatologist's number.
Take a nap


I don't know that my plans will happen.
But it's what I need to do.


So. 
How's Gabby?
Well. 
I would like to say. 
Great.
But.
I have to say fine.
Anything wrong with fine?
No.
But I want to be great.


People who are great.
Don't have nightmares.
People who are great.
Don't suffer from anxiety.

Humph

Humph
I have not felt like blogging lately.
At all.
Actually.
To be quite honest,
I’ve felt like crap lately.
Not so much physically.
Though,
the last few days have been rather hard.
Emotionally.
I’ve felt like someone has taken a swing and knocked me down.
I can’t get back up.
I’m not usually this easily discouraged.
Yes,
I struggle with depression.
I struggle with MAJOR depression.
But I said I struggle with it.
Meaning I’m fighting back.
Not losing to it.
I just can’t shake this awful funk.
What started it?
Well,
best I can tell,
Andrew.
Like my recent Ex-boyfriend.
Really.
It’s silly.
We weren’t even together a month.
We didn’t know each other a month.
Yet.
He has left me in a funk.
It doesn’t help that today is the anniversary of Jonny’s death.
For those of you who don’t know,
Jonny was a guy I dated,
Before I got sick.
He was amazing.
Different from any guy I’ve ever met.
He was killed in a car accident.
Last year.
July 12th.
One year and one day before.
was the day we met.
I liked him from the getgo.
I think he liked me.
He tolerated me at least.
 I was a different person back then.
Oh, boy was I.
I still can’t believe he is gone.
I didn’t find out for ten days.
When I got a text from his mom saying.
“I don’t know if you heard but Jonny was killed in a car accident last week”
Really.
That’s how it played out.
A text.
Might as well let me hear it through gossip.
Because seriously.
I had already missed the viewing and funeral
Why tell me at all.
I know I sound bratty.
But it really hurt me.
Then.
His mother has then nerve to show up at my house and feed me this big bunch of crap story about how her husband beats her so she left him and her daughter admitted her to a psyche hospital for no reason, she was homeless and didn’t have money for food.
Her whole family had disowned her.
It went on.
I cried.
For hours.
After all.
Everyone deserves to eat, right?
Well a few months later.
After giving her much support.
I found out,
through DFS,
where my mom works,
that it was a load of crap.
She was a hooker.
Got arrested.
That’s where it all began.
I was flabbergasted
I haven’t really talked to her since.
After all.
She did lose her son.
She had already lost one.
Many years ago.
But still.
I just quietly backed out.
I didn’t want confrontation.
or her in my life.
She texts me every now and again.
I don’t reply.
I don’t like being used.

In other news.
I have had an awful stomach ache since Friday.
I had an awful back ache Wednesday and Thursday.
Then Friday my stomach.
Saturday it just got worse.
Some with today.
Hoping
It’s not cysts, again.
But thinking,
It probably is.
I don’t want to deal with it.
But nothing is relieving the pain.
I spent a half hour in the bathroom on the floor
at McDonalds.
On Saturday because it hurt so bad.
But they were short handed so I was not able to go home.
I hate feeling awful.
:(

Well Humph...

Goodness.

It has been too long since I blogged. 

Really blogged.

Like about my day.

My thought.

My feelings.

It's late tonight.

But I'm gonna try.

Well, Boyfriend and I,

we broke up.

On my Birthday.

Great.

He was being a jerk.

I was over it.

That was the end.

Today.

He came through the drive-thru.

I hid.

Childish...

Yeah.

But I didn't want to deal with him.

I've worked eveyday since Tuesday.

I'm pooped.

But, I only have tomorrow. 

Then I have Sunday off.

WHOO.

Maybe I will get rested. 

Or get something productive done.

Probably neither.

I have been so achey lately. 

My back, and fingers are the worst.

But my knees and hips also hurt.

I hope it's not arthritis. 

I was told a few years ago

I would probably develop it.

I don't want it.

I'll be happy to give it back.

On the apartment front.

I still haven't turned in my application.

I worked all week. 

But I have Wednesday off.

So maybe I will get er done then.

I am greatly considering moving in with my manager, Rebecca.

But if I can get a place for cheaper that would help me out so much.

We'll see I guess.

Not. My. Words.

Tonight.
I was asked advice from a new friend.
Me, I'm not much of a talker.
But I opened up.
I gave my testimony.
I poured my heart.
I let God speak through me.
I showed His love.
Not the best I knew how.
It had nothing to do with me.
But the best HE knew how.
It ended.
With her deciding to take the time to pray herself.
For herself.
Which is all I could ask for.
Maybe.
Soon.
She will come to Church with me.
Not because Church saves.
But because it helps.
I know that.
Well.
It's almost 2am
I need to sleep.

Hanging

Sorry I haven't been on here since the scope. All good news from it. My stomach is less than half the size of what it should be. Plus it is hyper sensitive. Along with my bile problem. Well they aren't very good problems to mix. But eating, very small (like a jar of baby food), very healthy (like NOT McDonalds) meals, often, should help. A bunch. I'm working on it. I've already lost a couple lbs. So it should be fun trying to keep my stomach and weight on track. When they need separate things.

So I guess to you that doesn't exactly sound like good news. But to me. I'm thrilled. No surgery. Maybe no Mayo Clinic.

Happy 4th of July!

Time for BBQin', family, friends, and fireworks!

Rebekah made it and we have had fun so far, pretty much doing nothing :)