Everything.

I don't know everything. I won't claim to know everything. I try not to act like I know everything. And I shouldn't be expected to know everything. I'm not a doormat. Really. I'm not a the friend who is okay being there only when it's convenient for you. I never will be. I never will be okay with being made to feel less than human. I don't know anyone who will. 


I've had a hard couple of weeks. Too much for me to get into on here. Too personal. But it's been very one step forward 3 steps back. I'm starting to see the end of this tunnel. But I'm not out of it yet. I don't think that I will ever be the person that every expects me to be. That's hard for me. I wish I could please everyone. But I'm slowly realizing that all I get from trying is a downward spiral. Just when I think I've hit rock bottom the floor falls out again. I can't take it much longer. I need stability. I need to not be on a constant roller coaster of emotion. I need to be okay.


Tonight really I just need to know that I'm not as alone as I feel. 
I need to know that I can not be "fine" and still be okay. 
I need a hug.
I need to clear my head.