I can never think of the right words to start a post. I want them to be perfect, something that makes one think. But I just don't have those words in me.
The words in me are of pain and anger. I hurt, alot. All the time actually. I hurt when I breathe, eat, sleep, and think. I do not want to live. Call me whatever you want for that, but its true.
I feel like I've let everyone down. Like I'm supposed to be some strong person that never falls apart. But now I'm in pieces. I can't put myself back together. I've forgotten how to be happy. How to not have to force myself to laugh so others don't see my pain.
Even though there's people all around me wanting to help I feel alone. Everyone has pain. Everyone has suffering. But I am unable to deal with mine.
I'm not gonna do anything to end my life tonight. I promised I wouldn't. But this is whats on my heart and mind. This is how I feel. And try as I might I can't change it.