Alone

You know the saying "Why add insult to injury". It applies. All of the time. Especially when someone is really hurting. I thought I may have been exaggerating, perhaps being a tad bit dramatic when I said I was alone. But it turns out I wasn't. She complains that "I never talk to her" or that "I don't really let her in" But I try. I really try. I try to trust. I really do. But she doesn't want to let me in either. And the few times that I have called her and said I need you. She has been too busy. But tonight. I'm here alone. Like really alone house to myself. I've got strep. And I'm feeling extremely vulnerable because my father hasn't returned my phone calls in over 3 weeks. Since I already said I have daddy issues, I don't think I need to say that it scares me. I'm afraid he chose the girl friend over me. Again. There is always something or some one more important than me. For my dad it was that lady. For the him it was bikinis. I can't be that lady. I can only be the daughter with issues. And I will never look good in a bikini. Not that I would ever try. But that isn't the point. 
Not that it matters.