Already Lost

It kinda sucks. No, it really sucks. I've already lost. There is no way for me to win this fight. The day he used the knife on me. He won. Nothing I or anyone else can ever do will change or fix it. Sue. Yeah. But that's not going to make me feel any better. Though. I'm still doing it. I'm really just feeling defeated tonight. Really really. A spider got on me in the shower. And that was just the end. A spider. A stupid spider has put me over the edge. Great

I hate talking to anyone. I feel guilty for not being happy and not having only sunshine dust come out of my mouth. I know everyone must be tired of it. I'm tired of it. I don't want to leave my bed anymore. I still do. But, not without a fight. College, it's supposed to be the best years of my life. Instead. It's becoming something I don't want to remember. It really hurts.

Tonight

Tomorrow

It hurts.

I have black bags under my eyes. Maybe if I got more than 2 hours of sleep at a time they would go away.

Nevertheless I cake some makeup on and go out the door.