Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Learning to let go…

Learning to let go is in no case easy. It's not fun. It's not even pleasant. But, in most cases it has to be done.

My heart weeps for the Ringgold family tonight, actually all day. Sweet Bella fought a long, hard battle and is finally pain free with Jesus. Please take a moment and offer some encouraging words to her family. They also need all the prayer they can get. I can't imagine how difficult this must be. Going in hoping for a cure for their sweet angel, coming out empty handed. They did an amazing thing though. They helped pave part of the way to maybe curing the world of EB. That has not gone unnoticed. They gave the biggest sacrifice they had. My heart is broken.


After reading the post of Bella's passing last night, it really got me thinking. How does one find the strength to let go?


I find it's an ever revolving process, at least for me. I'm still learning.

I'm learning to use Cruise Control when I drive, letting go of being in constant control of my speed. (sorta)

I'm learning to let go of the fear that all Doctors are going to hurt me.

I'm Learning to let go of the memories that come when someone says "Gabby, Breathe"

It's all hard. Sometimes unbearable. But it's all necessary. It's not a quick process, I've been working at most of it for a very long time. But, I know if I give up now, I'll never make it through.


Okay, my spill about letting go is over for now. Let me move on to everyday life.

I have a ton of homework. 3 papers due in the next week. Only one of which I've started. I have an Abnormal Psych exam in the morning, I need to study for. I have 4 articles to read, and journal my thoughts on. I have 4 chapters to read and make 3 questions for each chapter. I have to peer edit a paper. I have to find someone to peer edit my power point presentation. And 3 chapter quizzes to do. The life of a college student, right?

Grr. I can handle it. I'm just annoyed.

My lungs are killing me, I have to see a rheumatologist. Great fun.

My Regular Dr thinks it has to do with inflammation. Also great.

I'm on 2 new inhalers. Twice a day. They make me really absent minded. I don't enjoy it. Dr.W gave them to me Friday, by Sunday my lungs felt much better. Then last night out of nowhere they were killing me again. I laid in bed from like 7 until about 3am. I got up then and took ibuprofen and a sleeping pill. It knocked me out. I had super crazy dreams. But, it was still sleep, something I don't see much of anymore.

Well I really must tackle so of this homework… Until next time *Ga5bby

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