Friday, February 3, 2012

Find Me Again.

Posting 2 days in a row. Wow wow wow. Odd for me lately. But I'm so ready for new patterns, so maybe its a good thing. I've been in a rough patch lately. It's been hard on my. Wearing me down completely. I feel like a failure. I suppose maybe because I am. I fail every day. But this, this was different. But I will get through it by the power of Jesus name. I just need everyone to not give up on me. Because if anyone else jumps ship, I won't be able to do this. All I need is God. But, God made Adam because HE was lonely. God made Eve because Adam was lonely. We need each other. God knows that. That is how God designed us. In the image of HIM And through HIM alone can I make it through this. I just need to know that while I'm fighting this battle that there are still supports there that love me. I just need to be loved through this. So please. Pray for me. I desperately need it. 

Okay, Now that that has been said. Lets move on to something different. . . .  Uhm. Well I'm still a Nanny. And I still love it. It is extremely hard emotionally right now. With the whole baby thing. But, I again will get through it. I know you all are probably a bit confuse on that. Because I haven't posted anything on it. But, I think I'm ready. I found out a few months ago it will be very hard for me to every get pregnant. They don't know that it is even possible. As hard as that is to hear, I know God has HIS hand in all of this. But, it still breaks my heart to hear. I'm doing better with it now than I was. But I still have my extremely hard days. That is another thing that needs prayer. I know know know that in the end, God has a plan for me that will be so amazing. It will be prefect. I will be blessed. But right now, on this journey, I'm hurt. Deeply hurt. It's not fair at all and I'm working really hard to accept all of it. It's no easy feat though. As I know others have gone through similar things, it gives me a slight bit of peace. It makes me feel that much less alone. I can do this. "When I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ" - Forgiven. By: Sanctus Real. 

I love love love this song by Sara Groves. It is so true. 
I've done every devotional 
Been every place emotional 
Trying to hear a new word from God 
And I think it's very odd 
That while I attmept to help myself 
My Bible sits upon my shelf 
With every promise I could ever need 

And the Word was 
And the Word is 
And the Word will be 

People are getting fit for truth 
Like they're buying a new tailored suit 
Does it fit across the shoulders 
Does it fade when it get older 
We throw ideas that aren't in style 
In the Salvation Army pile 
And search for something more to meet our needs 


I think it's time I rediscover 
All the ground that I have covered, 
Like seek ye first what a verse 
We are pressed but not crushed 
Perplexed but don't despair 
We are persecuted but not abandoned 
We are no longer slaves 
We are daughters and sons 
And when we are weak we are very strong 
And neither death nor life nor present 
Nor future nor depth nor height 
Can keep us from the love of Christ 
And the Word I need is the Word that was 
Who put on flesh to dwell with us 
In the beginning 

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