I have had so many meltdowns today it isn't even funny. I sometimes feel bad for the people who have to listen to my little rants that usually go along with this type of meltdowns. However, the people who call me yelling at me for not doing anything wrong and unleash the dinosaur. Yeah, no pity for them. Really, if you have a concern about the way I am living my life please CALMLY talk to me about it. Calling me and yelling at me for hanging out with a person who YOU don't exactly like, probably... Most definitely WON'T get you far. Just a forewarning. It may or may not get you on a quick trip into your place in my life and how much your opinion about it or really anything else doesn't matter when you are treating me like dirt. AND if you happen to do it on a day that has already been crappy, during a week that has been even crappier... You might not be as relieved to yell at me as you thought. So check yourself before you talk to me right now. I've had so much going on that I can hardly function mentally/emotionally and I don't need the people closest to me making everything that much harder. Take a number and wait your turn. But it might take awhile to get there because right now I need it to not be anyone's turn. And then I need a turn to deal with myself. Because I'm useless as is and I need to heal. I have to heal. I have to get to that point where everyday isn't a struggle. Where everything isn't just part of the routine. I don't want to be a robot. I don't want to spend life just going through the motions. I have to break out of this.
So tonight I'm stressed. Maybe. Possibly. Probably. Likely. No Comment. To the point where I have hives. It's just ducky.
So there you have it. Keep paddling. We'll get there. I eat chocolate while you paddle. That way, uh, I don't feel up to a good story.
There may or may not be a smoothie all over the window at a drive thru due to T tonight. I may or may not have choked on my fry when she missed the trash when she threw the cup from the car and then laughed even harder when she tried to drive off but had put the car in reverse. . .
So even though some people have "pushed one too far button". I'm not depressed. I'm not wallowing in self pity. I'm just having a really, really hard time right now. Don't judge me for that.