Sorry had some problems with getting all on the blog. trying again.
I sit here tonight, in this room, by myself, thinking about life. Everywhere I turn I hear of someone losing their job, someone losing a loved one, or someone just struggling with life. And it breaks my heart, I hurt tonight, they hurt tonight. And I can't do anything about it.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before but my bofriend is in the national guard. Training in texas to go to Iraq. Oh goodness how I miss him. He has been gone almost four weeks and I still have eleven months to wait for him to be back. The longing in my heart foe him this week has been almost constent. I just want he here again. To hold his hand, know he's safe.
I seem to looking at everything from this upsidedown spot and not seeing any good in anything. Thankyou so much for those of you who have left comments. I was hurting horribly yesterday and didn't know what to do and your words really did help. I've had an extra long day today, but I've managed to hold myself together. I feel hurt, sad, angry, and blessed all in one and it doesn't come out as a very pleasant emotion. I need some thinking time. Maybe I'll post more later. *Gabby
2 comments:
My boyfriend is a SPC in the Army so I understand the being away thing. He just completed a 15 month tour in Iraq and is in Germany for another few weeks before he can come down here. i've read some of your entries and you appear to be such a strong person that him being away will just be a tiny hurdle for you to overcome. After the first few weeks of him being gone It'll get easier. There are so many neat things yall can do to make it seem like yall are a little closer..we had(well we still kinda do) "web cam dates" where we would watch the same movie together or try to eat the same thing and all that. If yall don't have web cams that is the one thing i would suggest any military couple going through separation to get its so comforting to see his face all the way around he world like that and to just see for yourself that he is ok. Sorry this got kind of long but it's one thing i can relate to you with and try to help you out in. You can e-mail me at jeccabecca7@hotmail.com if you have any questions about all this or just someone to talk to in the same boat as you in it all.
It is such a rough time out there for everyone..my town just got news that the last factory, of over 500 people, is closing in the next few weeks. There is nowhere for these people to go find work in this area. It's so sad, the town is in shock, and people aren't able to talk about it yet.
I saw "The Soloist" today, which is a great movie. One part, the schizophrenic guy is wishing all in the world a good night..with all this chaos and evil going on around him. Also, he sees the beauty in music...the love of music.. and it takes him away to a beautiful place in his mind where he can cope. It just reminded me to really "listen" to music, to really "read" beautiful words... There is simple joy in this world available to us through these, even in this chaotic and terrible time. Take care, sweetie.
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