Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Hello Wall.

I'm only human. I feel emotions no matter how hard I try not to. I can't do everything. And I'm angrybecause of that. Not with God for it's not his fault, with myself, and with my life. I don't like to be sad. I'm not a bitter person. I don't fight with people just for fun. I hold my ground, but don't let it carry on. I've been hurt by people I "trusted" before, why is this so different? Honestly I don't know. I've only known my oldest sister about a year and a half. In that time I grew very close to her. But right around the time I got sick, she disappeared. Great sister right? We started alking again the end of Feburary, on the terms if I did something to upset her she would tell me, not just stop talking to me. Well here I am feeling stupid for trusting her. SHe turned out to be just like my dad. Can't keep her promises, If there is no room for me in her life thats fine moving on. I don't want her to think its okay to be my sister just when she has time for it. That isn't how family works. I'm upset right now. Trying to refrain for calling her and losing it.... *Gabby

1 comment:

rabidbutterfly said...

I've been reading your blog for a bit, but honestly I rarely post comments for anyone. This post, though, got to me, as I feel the same about my oldest sister as you are feeling right now.
Although I have known her my whole life, she is 14 years older, and well, our entire family is very distant...
My sister has always been on-and-off with me, as adults I have always been there for her but never found the same when I needed her. So I totally know the pain you are going through in that aspect, as in the last few months I seem to be completely cut off, honestly in a time of poor health, when I could have benefited from her being there the most.
I feel for you. And I'm here if you need to talk...