Sunday, July 12, 2009


I feel like rambling so I hope you're in the mood to read about pretty much nothing! I'm not feeling real great, I think I have a stomach bug. GReat huh. I took a long hot bath tonight it was nice. relaxing. I really needed it. I've been having these weird spasms in my feet for the last few weeks and tonight they started happening in my hands. It hurts horribly. Nobody really knows why it happening but I'm tired of it!!!! I don't do pain well. Well I do I can handle it to a point but once it gets to that point you better give me some drugs or I will be one mean person.

I'm still trying to get over my visit to the ICU the other night. I'm not doing such a good job. I can't stop thinking about it. AH its awful. I wish I could explain just what I'm going through but I can't. Just can't. The hospital is probably my biggest trigger but other things that trigger panic attacks or other things are cherry flavoring, boost or ensure, the smell of some cleaners, beeping. Yes beeping.

Okay so there's this person lets call her M. I haven't known M very long, but I trust her. Which is hard for me because every person I've ever trusted has hurt me badly. She says she won't hurt me and I believe her. But theres still this little thing inside of me that is scared. Not of her. Of me I guess.

Well I have nothing more to ramble about! *Gabby

1 comment:

Nicole said...

the good of a friendship can outweigh the chance u take...playing it safe isnt nearly as much fun...I have been living by "what if's" and its just as hard...but I only know miminal stuff about your life. I'm just speaking from personal experience.