I'm not in a good mood, I'm not trying to be in a good mood. I finally got outta bed at 1 and only because I had to go to PT. I'm considering going back to bed. I'm annoyed with me I'm annoyed with life and I'm annoyed with stupid people. Pretty much I'm annoyed with everything. Today I can't just put a smile on and pretend to be fine. Because I'm not fine. I've gotten so good at pretending to be fine hoping that one day I would be that I think I just made me even less fine. Does that make sense?
I feel like screaming. Really screaming, as loud as I can. But I know it won't help because nothing helps. I'm hurting and nothing I try to do fixes it. I wish there was an easy answer for why I have to go through this. There's not though. I probably will never know why. And I wish I could say I'm alright with it. I want to be okay, I want to really smile, to have fun. But I'm not and I don't. When will I? When will this constant pain go away? When will I be Gabby again?
Troy and I are no longer "together". And right now I'm okay with it. It was on good terms that we ended but we won't still be friends... That never works. *Gabby