Morning

I'm not a morning person, never have been. I would much prefer to sleep tell noon. Or not get out of bed at all. Not because I'm lazy. More because there isn't much point in getting out of bed. I do though, I get up, and do what needs done. Or nothing at all. Today I'm going to get more pictures done... My mom doesn't like the other ones. I do do things, more things then I would like. This morning I woke up in an awful mood. I don't really know why. I slept more last night then I have in a long time. I just don't feel happy today. I want to be happy. I'm just not. I know I just need to get over it. But right now that's not going to happen. I'm going to be sad and grumpy because that's how I feel. I don't want to put on my fake smile and go out and live anymore. I want to curl up and cry. But I'm not one to cry very often so I'm not going to. I'm going to shower, and put on the smile and go out. Eventually that smile will be real. Right? But until then. Do i just pretend for everyone else? My oldest sister top talking to me for like six months last year because "I'm too negative" Can you say ouch. AM I a different person now? Yes. More positive? Nope. I just pretend to always be so happy while talking to her. You shouldn't have to do that with people who claim to love you especially not family. I've only known that sister since Jan 08. My family is messed up. I've never met anyone from my fathers side.... Okay I'm done for the moment. Now if the tpn would hurry up and finish I would put the smile on and start my day. *Gabby