Saturday, July 11, 2009

eek two

Yes two posts in the same day. Well pretty much it is almost midnight I don't know that I will have it up before "tomorrow". Tonight I hurt. I feel angry and frustrated. I don't want to carry on. Doing things is no longer fun for me. Laughing is a forced reaction, no longer a natural response. I just am not happy. I can't find it anywhere. I don't want to be alone or around people. Yet if you ask the people closest to me they'd probably tell you I'm fine. How messed up is that. I want to be happy I really do but its not gonna happen. I don't want to get outta bed anymore because everyday is the same and it's just getting harder and harder to do anything. I find myself asking why a lot more. Why me. Why do I feel this way. Why can't I be happy.

I'm getting to emotional and need to stop. *Gabby

3 comments:

lovey said...

Gabby,
I know exactly what you are going through. Everybody thinks I am fine, when I'm not. Try to keep your spirits up. There is a better future for both of us. We both just need to get through now. Take care, Laurie

Nicole said...

It is going to happen, happiness is still there, lurking. With all the ups and downs of life, you should know things never stay the same for too long. I'm not going to say I know what you are feeling, even though I struggle everyday with depression. I just want you to know you arent ever alone.
so what has been some of your "triggers"? seeing the hospital room, obviously...

rabidbutterfly said...

I know I have been through a lot of medical stuff lately. While not the same as yours, obviously, I know at times I have the same question...or at least one of them..."Why me?" Just wanted you to know others feel this way.