This last week, I had a fight. With J. She said something, that was not so nice. Me, being hypersensitive, took it hard. I didn't want to talk about it. She asked what I meant. I told her. Suddenly I'm inconsiderate for texting her. What? I give up. Really. Why bother. She isn't listening to me. I shoot her an email. It states that I'm done, I love her, I'm not gonna deal with this. She Replies and says we are going to talk about it, and that I'm the one who created "this". Hmm really? I thought it was her hypocritical and cruel words. My bad, my bad.
I'm a rather stubborn person. I do what I want, I get what I want. That's just how it usually is. So her telling me we WILL talk. Well it rubs me the wrong way. Really the wrong way.
So I'm just letting the situation chill for awhile, then I will inform her that I have no desire to continue a relationship with her if I'm going to end up hurt all the time.
I haven't been sleeping much. Most nights I'm up tell 2-3 and then at 4,5,6,7 and then sleep until 9. It's not so great. Everything is so much harder when you don't sleep well. Which is probably part of why what J said hurt me so much. But nonetheless that pain is real. I can't deal with this all the time. Or any of the time. That's why I'm not.
I'm reading a new book. Wicked. It's rather interesting. Have you read it? I'd love to hear some reviews on it. I found it on my last bookstore browse. Have I told you how much I LOVE bookstores? Well I do. I could spend hours just browsing. Picking up books that look slightly interesting and reading the backs. Sipping on coffee while reading a book, that on any other day I wouldn't have looked twice at. Watching the news, reading the paper. Observing others doing that same thing. The whole experience, well it's pretty amazing.
Well I need to shower. Then I'm gonna curl up with a book for awhile. If I don't fall asleep soon, I'm get back on and post. *Gabby
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