Lost...

I don't know what to say. I'm relieved that everything is okay. Not good. But fixable.
I did not have to have a potentially life threatening test done.

Sidenote* I'm watching The Hangover.... WOW. If I ever get married. There will be no bachelor party in Vegas. NONE. I do not recommend this movie. REALLY DO NOT WATCH IT.

I'm feeling wiped out really. Like my emotions were so built up that in that moment where they all went away, it took all of me. I'm really just existing right now. Not because life is so bad. But because it's all I can muster. I haven't been sleeping much. Not because I don't want and need sleep. I just can't sleep.

I've been thinking. In all this time that I've not been sleeping. I really miss Troy. Our relationship is broken. We never had a boyfriend girl friend relationship. Just the thought of one. I'm ready for a real relationship . I hope he wants one because I want a real relationship with him. I don't think I ever blogged about my date with Devan. Well he was this very nice guy that I met at Church camp. Well he drove up from Layton Utah and we went out. Blah blah blah. Then he kissed me. All I could think was "this isn't Troy". It was nothing about Devan. It just wasn't Troy. I wanted Troy. I hope to always want Troy...

But the part that I haven't told you yet is Troy WILL be HOME by EASTER!!! That's like less then 2 weeks!!! I can't believe it!!! I am SOOOO Excited. April 9th will be a year since I've seen him... So very long. I can not wait to hold his hand again! Enjoy the simple things right? AH. I wish I had an exact time he would be home. But I don't. So for now I will just hold to the fact that by Easter Sunday I will get to see him... That's good enough for me....

He might be deploying again in 2 years. I'm not looking forward to that. But if it happens. We will get through it. I know it!!! *Gabby