I'd like to say "I haven't been blogging because life is just so great and I haven't had time". But that would be a lie. I'm spiraling downward. At a fast pace. It has nothing to do with depression or medication. I promise. Something happened. I'm not okay. I'm worse then not okay. I'm awful. I've hardly slept since *it* happened. I'm afraid, every time I close my eyes I see his face. It's not okay. I figure you probably want the story right? Okay, well last Thursday I was at lunch with my mom. Things were actually going well, no fighting. All of the sudden her jaw drops. I turn to see what shes looking at, there *he* is, camo scrubs and all. I lost it. Ran out of the restaurant Cried and cried. It was just plain awful. If you're still wondering who the *he* is. It's the Dr that started this all. Not okay.