Saturday, December 26, 2009

I am... Blogging!

So... I need to get my mind straight. It's really messed up today. And every other day. I feel so very confused. I've been trying to figure it all out, but I can't. I feel like everything is being mixed up. I don't care for it! My fingers smell like garlic! That's kind of nice. But other then that, things just don't feel okay.

Okay, I've been writing this post for a few HOURS. How sad is that? I just really don't know what to say. There's so much on my mind, that I don't know how to blog. So this will be jumpy tonight as I will just write whatever I think.

Okay first off, I'm stressed. I spent WAY to much on Christmas. Now I have no money. It's completely MY fault. I will admit that openly. But that doesn't fix it. It doesn't help that I have only work 4 hours this pay period because of the stupid mouth sore. Yeah, I'm serious. They don't want me to spread it to the costumers. So I've been home.

Today I went in and told my boss I still had it. He was rude. Seriously, like it's my fault? I had to get someone to cover my shift, which was stupid, either way I wasn't gonna work. SO I call pretty much everybody that wasn't already working, finally, the last person said yes. Ah more stress.

I was stupid. Looked up causes of all my symptoms. Now I'm silently freaking out. There's a few that are real bad, I'm even more stressed. Anxious for whats to happen. Annoyed that my appointment is not for 2 months! Really I have to live with this for another month and a half? Can I handle that? I'm not sure.

On a plus note. I'm watching hockey and the team I'm going for(Sharks) is winning 5-0! They got 2 goal in 15 seconds. It was marvelous ! They aren't my team. But they're my moms and I don't mind watching them. I love the Red Wings. With a passion that burns deep in my soul. Okay maybe that was just a bit dramatic :)!

I'm gonna stay on this note for a minute. We had a wonderful Birthday dinner for the twins. I ate more cake, then dinner:)! But hey, it works. Think about eat some more dinner. I really should as I'm down 2 more lbs.

Okay moving on. As I just said, I'm DOWN 2 more lbs. I'm still at an okay weight. But won't be for too long. 10 more lbs and they will most likely put a tube of some sort in. Considering I've been losing at least 3 lbs a week, that wont be very long. But that's just my thoughts, it could be different.

Okay I'm now going to be weird but please respond! If you don't know the terms, google them.
Would you rather have a NJ tube, GJ tube, or a PICC line? I have bad memories for all and can't decide!

So Wednesday, I took some treats to a friends mom that was in the hospital. While in her room the Drs name that is too painful to type was mentioned quite a bit. Every time it was, I couldn't breathe for a minute. It was awful. No one is aloud to go to that hospital ever again, I don't think I can do it again.

I'm praying for no nightmares! But have to go to bed as I need to be up early for church! Goodnight! *Gabby

P.S. Yes, this post took over 5 hours. Sad I know. Finally got it to upload pictures though!

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