Who needs sleep? Not me. Well actually I do. I'm really dragging. I can hardly think and feel like I've been run over by a train. But other then that, I'm okay. I'm hoping that I'm tired enough to sleep tonight. Mom is worried that now I'm addicted to sleeping pills and will have to take them my whole life. If that's the case, well I'll be happy as long as I sleep.
So at Church last night after we practiced for the Christmas play, yes I'm in a play, I have like 5 lines!!! Whoa baby! But that's not what we're talking about. We talked about death. How it's so unknown. There is no way to know when you're going to die. I know where I'm going when I die. But the dying part scares me, its so final. The end. It's hard for me to really grasp that. I've been very close to death a few times. When I was at my sickest, I only had a 20% chance of living. That's no good. But I made it, why? Why me? Not only why did I have to go through it, but why did I get to come out of it? There are so many people and kids that are given way better odds then that, and they pass. So why did I get to beat the odds? I don't know just something that's been on my mind.
I'm so confused right now, probably from the lack of sleep. But maybe because I'm finally catching up with life and am not handling it real well. So I'm gonna go before I turn this into a pity party, I hate pity. Goodnight! *Gabby