Friday, January 29, 2010

Midnight bottle

Midnight bottle take me calmly through my memories and everything come back to me
Midnight bottle make it real what feels like make believe so I can see a little more clearly
Like every single move you make kissing me so carefully on the corners of my dreaming eyes

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
Got a midnight bottle drifting off into the candlelight where I can find you any old time
A midnight bottle I forgot how good it felt to be in a dream just like you had me
Cause lately I've been stumbling feels like I'm recovering
But I think it's only for tonight

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
If only for tonight, if only for tonight, if only for tonight

I've got a midnight bottle gonna drink it down
A one way ticket takes me to the times we had before
When everything felt so right
If only for tonight I've got a midnight bottle gonna ease my pain
From all these feelings driving me insane
I think of you and everything's all right if only for tonight
If only for tonight, if only for tonight, if only for tonight



I am falling in love with this song! I have it on my ipod which is nice, I enjoy it so much.

I'm going to start another blog. I will still do this one. But a new one. With the good only in my life. So everyone can read it. http://simplyslightly.blogspot.com/ I will probably be putting more of what I'm up to on there and my feelings on here. I know it's weird to have two separate like this, but its what I need right now. So check it out!


I'm tired, I'm tired of being sick all the time. I'm tired of losing weight and looking anorexic. I'm tired of the nausea and pain. I'm to the point where I dread eating because I know the chances are slim it won't make me sick. I don't like that feeling. I don't like eating being more of a punishment then something I enjoy. I WAS really sick, WAS being the key word. I know I'm not anymore. I know that I will continue to get better. But right now, I need help. My feeling is that some sort of feeding help may not be the answer,but it would sure help me mentally. I don't want to get to the point of giving up again, but the eating thing is frustrating me enough that it might get to that point again. Please I want some sort of feeding tube, whether it be PICC or NJ GJ NG G I don't care I just am tired of this. Please you don't often here of someone asking for these things. I'm done. I need help.

This is the part of the letter the was sent to my DRs. The part the I wrote anyway. I'm so tired. I'm to my breaking point. I want to curl up and cry right now. I hate crying. Really hate it.

I'm texting with wonderful M. While it helps me some, the pain is still there.

I'm trying to do thing to distract myself, but its not really working. I feel awful and I can't avoid it. What do I do?

Now, before I start sobbing I will end this. Help, please. *Gabby